Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It's my father's birthday today. I don't know if it is by coincidence, but I decided once again to try my luck in quitting my cigarette-smoking hobby. I'm having my first symptoms of withdrawal ---night sweating!!! (mind you, this is not TB! I was cleared by a doctor just this year).

I've attempted to quit about 5 times before. Those times, there was someone to hold me; this time, there's no one. If predictions could be made by logic, just for this mere difference I have better luck this time. But such prediction can be only useful with the hope it brings. Otherwise, it is better to take it "one day at a time."

Just like my supervisor said today, "Sometimes, you have to make hard decisions. Decisions that determine a big chunk of what life there is to come."

I really don't know what awaits though. I can fancy, but most times I should just be keeping it to myself. I've been known to daydream so much that it ruins other people's lives. So I will try my best to not let my feelings overflow so everybody feels safer. No risks. No turning of the leaf. Just straight-up hellos and goodbyes, as the world turns round and round and every day we're all a day older.

(Oh boy! Another withdrawal symptom kicking in... aggressive tendencies, bad moods. Uh!oh!I'm pretty sure I'll regret what I said here. Regrettable. I don't know what else to say. Just plain regrettable).


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