Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Coldplay - The Scientist [Live]

A friend introduced me to this song, said she likes the band a lot. While I haven't caught up much with recent bands (i.e. post Pearl Jam/STP hype-era, tagal na no?), I naturally got intrigued with her choice of bands. I went to the one place everyone nowadays go to for info: wikipedia, and found out that the band is quite respectable in my terms. Not bad, for a new band (hah! I'm sounding like my uncles then now, hehe). But I like the fact that they are outspoken against the war in Iraq and against using their songs for big business advertising. Ms pinkipod, you'll like this, another Bono in the making? hehe.

Meanwhile, another friend at work who I really appreciate his presence (although silently) came up to me one day and asked me, "Are you ok?" I responded with a snobbish silence (as I am
known at work, haha!). Then he added, "Hmmm... I like that, silence. You know, philosophers say that humans speak words when their being is in a state of conflict. That's why they speak because by speaking, they transcend their current conflicted state. Words come out as the synthesis, in the Kantian sense. On the other hand people who are silent may just have no conflict in their minds at all, they are at peace, so they don't need to say anything."

After that, I just had to crack up. I laughed so hard because that is so him! And the funniest part about it is that most of what he says are true, and I believe it! Yet I continued with my silence (brat! hehe). As he walked away, he looked back at me with a smile, because he knows he would see what he expected to see from my face ---a smile that reflects back to him. And I'm pretty sure he was thinking, "Hah! Got 'im again!!! hehe!" And he is right.

Anyway, to tie up my accounts of friends, I am generally in a state of happiness now, though of course, I have to struggle with words (hehe) and circumstances in my life. But it is quite a certain peace of a new level. Ms. Weiwa is right about not needing expectations and opening one's eyes to the whole view of things, or of a person. After a certain era of my life comes another one. I was happy at one point in time. Then I was down. Now I am happy again. Coming full circle, going back to the start. And with a fresh view of things, sprouts another season. Not expectations now, but rather hope of good things to come. You know, we were all kids once, right? We all have a right to hope again, but of course unburdened by expectations of the heart.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

He is propped upright in some last lost corner of his life
Waiting for the only new thing left to see
He cultivates memories rich and brown like gardens---
Hardly eighty his eyes already inward turning
He has banished himself to worlds of fine gray dust
Tonight, wrapped around a chair
He rolls another damped cigarette
And sends those blue clouds on their familiar reach
Into the bag of weathered yarns
And like some deaf and total plasmic being
Turns himself inside out
To feed on the silence that is me.

The Silence That is Me
by Utah Philips
Woke up today listless, not wanting to do anything but just to go somewhere. Maybe I'll go to Santa Cruz, just take the drive with my super-vintage car (hehe!) in hope that we will manage to pass that crazy drive over the mountain. Just put some songs into the stereo and keep on going. And in the middle of the way, I will let my mind drift off to silly imaginations and memories as I normally do, with the help of sound and scenery, in the hope that I will finally get to my destination.
There are two things there I want to see--- St George Hotel and that bronze statue of the saw-playing musician. But apart from the goal of seeing the two, the ride in itself I think is already worth the while for me.
Hmmm... I may have really just convinced myself to do it! See what writing does to me?!! Hehe. Thanks, ms. pinkipod, for telling me about blogging >:)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

I use writing not only as a means of expression but also as an aid in "knowing one's self" ---soulsearching, as some may say. But lately, it's been hard to write. Blame it on a busy schedule, I say. And my constant allergies during summertime. I don't sneeze, but my eyes get itchy all the time.

For a while now too, I've been searching for something to read. I can't think of anything that I want to invest time on reading. As compared to my friends who can read a 300-page novel in a day, I am a very slow reader. I would blame it on being dyslexic, except that I am really not :) So when it comes to books, I try to be more or less selective since I know I am gonna read one for weeks, if not a whole month. Whew! But even if reading for me is far slower than watching the movie, it is actually more amusing (diba, diba?)

In any case, I haven't been doing much lately, I guess (or nothing out of the ordinary). Work in the morning, take a nap in the afternoon, jog maybe, then on weekends I go to my brother's house to "chill with the homies (hehe!)". Still work around cars (just minor work), spend time with my cousin who I grew up with in PI who is a recent immigrant, and do a little "chillin by myself" (though I need to do more of this I think). Yet I actually like this down time. Away from a so-called busy life. It is on this mode of living that I start to daydream again... (to be continued)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

It is just a ratte of life.
It is just the rattle of daily life.
What else can you say?!!
It's just a rattle of daily living...

Monday, June 11, 2007

80's Rule, Babyyy!!!!

I'm with a coworker watching videos at work of the 80s. We've been on this 80s craze for about 2 weeks now. One of his favorite songs is from Boy George's Culture Club, and we have a blast playing it on and on and on 'cause he had this story of men back then thinking Boy George was a real woman who they thought was "hot" until realizing their "heartache" when, as truth be told, 'she' turned out to be really 'he.' Haha!

Anyway, I watched the Grindhouse last week too for the same reasons (double showing movie + blurry/static-ky reel + half-baked scripts and classic blood squirt/squeeze = total 80's genre). It was fun; I had to laugh at how the movie captured the 80s mood pretty well but also cracked up at my movie-buddies because they were a definite next generation with their "what in the hell is this?!" and "this does not make sense at all!!" looks. Hehe!

Whatever the reasons are, or why I am getting this 80s mania in my life right now, I don't really know. But the ride trekking back to that time where high school was so much fun for me is, remarkably, still quite the fun... :)


This song came up to me while we're watching famous VH1 videos on the net. After reading the lyrics, and with no apparent connection at all, why am I now thinking about quitting work?!! >:))

Fast Car
Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living
You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs
You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans
I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way