Waiting On The World To Change
by John Mayer

me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change---
it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want
that's why we're waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
and we're still waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

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I was just cruising around one time when I heard this song. It's true, a lot of folks connect with this point of view. There is a tremendously gargantuan problem in the world, you get so mad at it that it may drive you nuts, that everything you see everyday ---be it the homeless in the streets, the burglaries and the court cases of rape or child abuse, the war and the heavy human toll it brings (be it civilians or military), and the lies! lies! lies! that you hear the US administration and all its cohorts are drumming in everyone's ears, and include the evening ads of helping out impoverished kids in the third world; all are cries from the human heart. All are reflections of how this world is deteriorating so much because of our current "human relations."

Yet, someone has told me one time that our present day technological advancement has actually gained so much resources that we are now able to eliminate hunger. I repeat! WE ARE NOW ABLE TO ELIMINATE HUNGER. WE ARE NOW ABLE TO FEED EVERY SINGLE CHILD OF THE WORLD!!!

But why are we not doing so then? Why do we still see more than half the population of the world living in poverty, with destitute faces not able to roam free in the afternoon sun, enjoying the company, playing with friends and not think of whether you will have supper tonight, or having the warmth of a place to put your mind in deep slumber? Why? It's really quite a simple answer. Two things. One, we need the vast majority of the people to move and solve the situation and, two, that all of them have to agree on a valid solution. It's that simple. But it's a solution that, sad to say, is so so hard to achieve at our current state of affairs, especially with mass media being the mouthpiece of an elite minority.

And so it is quite a plausible result that so many people would rather just not do anything and wait! Wait on the world to change. It's the easier thing to do. A "flight response" I guess... a "Who cares?! You'll never win! It's pointless anyway, right?" response. I used to get so mad at this kind of responses, but after sensing that the social norm arise collectively from what psychologists call "learned helplessness" (i.e. learning that whatever one does, it does not achieve the results one desires) , it still pains me but I understand the sentiment better. It pains me because like everybody else I like to see a better world but I need others to be all together; and also, I see that the psyche of my friends get so messed-up because of an absense of hope for the future. And hope is a very powerful tool to have but disastrous in the absense of...

...Anyhow, much as I would try to linger on this thought, I will stick to hanging out with friends, and enjoy their company. I'm sure that in the middle of our conversations, we will touch on this subject. And I will tell them what I see, what I think, what my hopes and desires are, and how we are much more the same really than we're different. And that maybe, I can help them reflect on what can be done, and what really lies behind the lies of our modern-day age, and how we should all be... togetherness (as Chuck-the-grandmaster-Berry always said). And in the end, we will do all that we can. In the end, we will live with our hearts free, bold, and happy, despite the turmoils of today's world. Happy, because we are doing what we can. We are waiting o the world to change, yes, that's true. But we are also lending our hands in the ways we can. And that, ladies and gentle souls, is what it's really all about.

So, please. Don't fret. It is not that folks are criticizing you. It is just because of frustrations sometimes that "too much criticism" gets on the way of things. Don't worry, it is meant well. All that is really being said is to do what we can. Folks give in different ways. All that is being asked is what you yourself can. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

So now, feel better?

In the Filipino language, we say, "grabe ka naman! wag ka namang masyadong pikon..." In English, it's meant, "It's ok, man. Just chill."

Wondering In Passing

sometimes, i rather see your face
i look, but i can't really see you
i stare blankly in something in front of me
it's you, a picture of you
but why is it that sometimes i can't quite see through
I want to realize you
but i can't
feelings should surround me
yet i don't feel any
i don't feel any at all
why?
has it been that long?
or have i been molded into stone?
i see
but i really can't see
you
i want to
so badly... oh dear,
...what happened to me?

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The First Cut Is The Deepest
Cat Stevens

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone, who's torn it apart.
And she's taken just all that I had...
But if you want I'll try to love again (again).
Babe, I'll try to love again, but I know,

The first cut is the deepest,
babe, I know, the first cut is the deepest.
When it comes to being lucky, she's cursed.
When it comes to loving me, she's worse.

I still want you by my side,
just to help me dry the tears, that I've cried
and I'm sure gonna give you a try.
And if you want, I'll try to love again (again),
babe, I'll try to love again, but I know,

The first cut is the deepest, babe,
I know, the first cut is the deepest.
When it comes to being lucky, she's cursed.
When it comes to loving me, she's worse.

The first cut if the deepest...

Every now and then, while sitting in the car driving, or reading during lunch, or maybe sometimes walking, I think of something that I want to write in this blog. And once I come home and start to sit in front of the screen, for some reason my mind (not the screen) goes blank. What was it that I wanted to write nga? Oh well, the image is gone, and the emotions at the time of "inspiration" has already dissipated into thin air.

Guess I'll have to wait until the right time comes again...

In case you guys want some trivial "what's up wid me?!" I've been busy ---fixing the pool for everybody to dive into, work where my supervisor wants me to step-up-to-the-plate, reading Pride and Prejudice (of all things! do not laugh... i said DO NOT LAUGH!!!! hehe!), chatting with old friends and cousins and... well, some other stuff.

My celfon has been messing up. For some reason, I can't text folks in the Phils. even though I got global. I'll work on that next. Just to keep on bugging people back home because it's more expensive to text back. Haha!

...Life is sailing, I guess. I guess it's sailing just fine.

I had my first run today, after months of dead, real-dead, time. Took me 40 minutes to run 3 miles. Real bad, but not bad for starting back up. I love sprinting at the last 100 meters just to open up my lungs (to get rid of all the smoke particles in my lungs I suppose).

Anyway, I got my afternoon coffee which was free, by the way, because I know the girl at the cafe and, to put it mildly, "we have some kind of a connection." Haha! Then I found a place to sit and just rest (and reflect!) while people pass by. I looked at the newspaper stand and read the headlines of each newspaper. Hmmm... no mention of the Israel-Lebanon thing, except from a minor headline in the New York Times. It seems a little alienating to think that in another part of the world, bridges and buildings are destroyed which really means that the social fabric of a society is being violently disrupted, and one can just imagine the cries of kids and the shame of parents not able to explain to their kids why such things happen in our world. Meanwhile, I see people going about their business, enjoying the afternoon sun, and playing with their kids, talking to friends, and trying to live lives in the best way possible.

I started to wonder if these people care about what's going on in another world. But, fast as the thought came, I also realized that they have every right to live their lives happy, connected, free from violence, injustice, and (for lack of a better word) disruption. My God! Everyone has the right to this kind of existence! Even the people right now who are being bombed and raped and violated by things external to them.

Then I started a prayer, a hope, that one day the world would be like this; not the isolated, individualistic, "fragmented and atomized" as Chomsky puts it, but rather a free and interconnected society, at all levels, with warmth and affection, and sharing... of the pie having both joy and pain ---a world where no bombing exists, no aggression by another, where truth, justice, and togetherness (I have to inch in Chuck Berry on this) prevails.

I know you can now start calling me an idealist, but such things occupy my mind. One of my favorite shirt has John Lennon on it with the word "Revolution" in big bold letters (haha! i love that shirt. Almost like Che on everyone's chest). And of course everytime I pick up the guitar, I strum the chords of his song ---his one song everyone knows.

But I don't really want to be called an idealist. In fact, I think that it is really possible. So this is what I suggest. Let's do what we can do now. It does not have to be a grand masterful, ingenious work that most likely only Superman can do. I'm talking about little things! Just little things that we can do here and there. It amounts to much, you know... especially when you do it because you really care.

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PS. I had a date last night. We watched Superman. It's was ok. Both me and my mom had fun. :) Believe it or not, she missed the classic Superman I, II, and III (I think there's IV too, right?). But at least he knows Christopher Reeve, "the one who has a lot of non-profit foundations..." hehehehe! Yep! That's my Mom!!!

A friend gave me this poem. It is a poem by Alfred Souman, a poet and an activist who apparently became a rebel fighting against a fascist state. He wrote this right after witnessing the tragic impact of the fall of friends on their families and, of course, on him as well.

To all of you who feel the tragedy of today's world... this one's for you.

---------------------------------------------

A Reflection From Toto's Eyes
Alfred Souman

....the journey might be long,
with fire and passion in our hearts
we know we shall reach our destiny.

we foresee the dawn of our vision
a land filled with honey and milk
meanwhile we struggle
we fight
we hope

we take the pains and fears
we are strengthened with joys and tears
we find healing with our comrades at our side….

the dawn of freedom we foresee…the crimson sky glittered with shining stars
gives us a reason to believe….

Funny how in the book Tuesdays with Morrie that the teacher himself defines his old age as not to be looked down upon like a life already gone by; because like any age, you can summon your past to the present, and relive these memories, with emotions and all.

I was just listening on the cd player in the car, to the songs of Mr. Jim Croce himself. And I remember way back then, when i was a little kid, listening to the Akai sound system as the turntable plays the music of Jim and the rest of the 70's crowd. Everytime I think of that time, it gives me this sensation of beautiful nostalgia, most like a morphine shot I guess, that numbs the pain and intensifies my shiny, happy, happy feeling :)

Fun memories. I had such fun when I was a kid. Although I do wish we all had such times as kids, I know that some of us have not been that lucky. Part of me feels that reality as well, except at a different age.

Anyway, about the song. His familiar voice plus a fresh look at the lyrics has made quite an impression on me. Goodness! He's referring to me! Why in the hell did it never occur to me that this song is about me. It's about me. The search for a home. The experience of a different landscape. The feeling of misplaced identity and an awakening from it. And the decision to do something about it. It's as if I just got slapped in the face. Just unbelievable. Guess he understands. Guess I'm not alone after all.

... Now I feel better. Hehe!

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New York's Not My Home
Jim Croce

Well things were spinnin' round me
And all my thoughts were cloudy
And I had begun to doubt all the things that were me
Been in so many places
You know I've run so many races
And looked into the empty faces of the people of the night
And something is just not right!

'Cause I know
That I gotta get out of here
I'm so alone
Don't you know that I gotta get out of here
Cause New York's not my home

Though all the streets are crowded
There's somethin' strange about it
I lived there bout a year and I never once felt at home
I thought I'd make the big time
I learned a lot of lessons awful quick and now I'm
Tellin' you that they were not the nice kind
And it's been so long since I have felt fine!

That's the reason
That I gotta get out of here
I'm so alone
Don't you know that I gotta get out of here
Cause New York's not my home

Let her---
---Just be.
connect... intertwine!

---

Remember,

The world does not rest
on your shoulders---
The future is not just
in your hands.

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Hah!

...I can just imagine someone telling me this.

:)